Help! My Boss Hates Me…

If you’ve ever felt like your boss was “out to get you” and that everything you did was wrong, you’re not alone.

Thinking something like, ‘My boss hates me’, is a clear sign that something isn’t right and that you should probably pay closer attention to it.

Sure, sometimes we tend to overreact or let our emotions get the best of us, but there is cause for concern when you’re thinking things like this on a regular basis. There should be absolutely no reason why your boss would hate you. This isn’t the playground and you aren’t little kids calling each other names.

You’re adults working in a professional work environment. There needs to be a level of respect between employer and employee.

Your boss can’t expect you to respect him or her if they’re treating you poorly in front of your coworkers, or lashing out at you privately for small things all the time.

Respect works both ways.

Take a look at what you’re doing at work and how you behave.

Are you giving your boss a reason to be upset with you?

For example:

  • Are you a clock watcher? Do you arrive a few minutes after 8am, leave at 5pm on the dot, and take your full hour lunch; but don’t finish a lot of your projects because you “don’t have enough time”?
  • Do you jabber at work too much? Are you constantly chatting to coworkers in the kitchen when you should be working, or spending time on instant chat, texting messages, or talking on your cellphone?
  • Are you just scraping by? Be honest. Are you really putting effort into your work, or are you just doing the bare minimum for the sake of a salary at the end of each month?

If you’re doing any of these things, you might want to think about your role in the company. Put yourself in your bosses shoes. He or she has either built the company from the ground up, taken it over, or is your direct manager. There’s A LOT of pressure there. Most bosses also take a tremendous amount of pride in their company (their reputation), and the people who they choose to fill certain positions within it.

work stress

Perhaps the problem doesn’t lie with you, but with your boss instead. If you’re giving your company 110% every day, and you’re convinced that your boss is being unfair towards you, then it might be time to take some action.

Let’s look at a few examples of how a boss might be considered as unfair towards an employee:

  1. Your boss belittles or ‘puts you down’ in front of your coworkers.
  2. Your boss is constantly criticizing your work – even though it’s of excellent standard. He or she never has anything good to say about your work.
  3. Your boss undermines your ability to work and degrades you in emails to fellow staff members or clients.
  4. Your boss refuses to hear any suggestions which may make workflow simpler, or help the company in any way financially.
  5. Your boss treats you like a number, and not as a person.

As an employee, you have chosen to work at this company. You’re putting in the time and the effort – sometimes after hours which are away from family, in order to get your job done to the best of your ability.

And all you’re asking for in return is some common courtesy and respect. If it’s a one-sided street and this isn’t happening, you need to make some important decisions.

How to take action if your boss is being unfair towards you

The first thing you should do is to look at whether your boss is being unfair to only yourself, or to your fellow coworkers as well.

  • Start making a list. It’s no use bringing up how you think you’re being treated unfairly. Bosses want facts, not emotions. So make a list of dates and instances of things that happened or that were said which you don’t agree with.
  • Set up a meeting. If your company is small, you should meet directly with your boss. If you have an HR manager, the right procedure is that you speak to them about your grievances first. They will then speak to your boss and revert back to you, or bring your boss into a meeting with yourself for another meeting.
  • Stay professional. This isn’t the time to start throwing insults or getting emotional. It might be hard to keep feelings out of the picture – because we are all human after all, but try and stay focused and as professional as possible. Make sure that you leave the meeting with a follow-up list of changes that should take place – from either, or both sides.
  • Keep tabs. There should be a second meeting set up for a few weeks later to follow up on what was discussed and the changes that needed to take place. Take notes on what improvements have been made during this time.

What if your boss refuses to change?

Unfortunately, you do come across those few bosses who simply refuse to change. They run their company with an iron fist and they think that there is absolutely nothing wrong with them – only with their employees. These bosses often have a high staff turnover rate.

If this happens, you have two choices. You need to decide if you are prepared to keep working at a company and for a boss who doesn’t respect his or her staff. Or, perhaps take this as a sign that it’s time to start looking elsewhere for another job where you will be taken seriously, respected, and treated fairly.

When you start thinking things like, ‘My boss hates me’, don’t ignore it.

Look at yourself and how you are performing first, and then look at the way in which your boss is treating you and take appropriate action.

Have you ever worked for an unfair boss?

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If you answered yes, did you ever take constructive action against it?

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2 thoughts on “Help! My Boss Hates Me…

  1. sound advice!
    If I may reinforce one bit of advice in particular, the ‘set up a meeting’. While it is very important to meet fact-to-face (if it is still in that stage of conflict and it is appropriate (to meet)) it is doubly important to not to try and question or challenge them ‘in public’. I would sort of extend this even to non-problem situations. Most supervisors/managers/bosses are much more attuned (and sensitive) to discussing issues in front of the people they are supervising.
    So, all things being equal, asking for a time to meet is always preferable to beginning a discussion in ‘the middle of the office’.
    Really enjoyed your Post.

    • I agree with you Clark. It’s never a good idea to call out employees or an employer in front of other staff. Rather take it into a private room and have a calm discussion there.

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